I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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