Where did you get a picture of my penis
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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