I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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