This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Randomize
