if you like me you must not know who I am
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
