i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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