the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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