u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Porn is love you can see.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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