Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
