Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
