In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
