I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
