I CAN MOONWALK!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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