So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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