YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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