If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do herpes really smell.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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