I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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