sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
