I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
