For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
