ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
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It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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