Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
