I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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