its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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