And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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