I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
