You're so nebulous sometimes
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
