I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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