We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
