And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
