You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hippo gnu deer
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
