I'm going to jail i love you
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
