She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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