so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize