It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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