You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you traded sex for a burrito?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
