There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
