Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
