you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
