Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize