That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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