do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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