So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
