You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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