I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
