i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
