FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
