Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
