Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
