well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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