I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
