dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
