sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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