Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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