and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
