No awkward lesbian experiences without me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
