I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
