do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
smell my finger.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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