He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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