i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
