so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
