my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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