I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
