I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she looked like the before picture.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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